An Open Letter to Women Who Voted for Trump

Dear women who voted for Trump and have nothing good to say about the Women’s Marches across the world,

I hope you take the time to read this because just days ago I didn’t have the energy to write it. I was completely spent from years of educating others as a queer Latina feminist scholar and activist, not wanting to build bridges between women who voted against themselves, tired of speaking with those who willfully refuse to listen. But then, I marched. After, I went home and watched millions of people march in bright pink pussyhats and went to bed energized and ready to keep doing the work.

When I woke up the next morning, I read some comments on various social media platforms that left me with one question for you: What do you get out of tearing down other women? Pause on that for a second.

Men who hate women love when you do this because you make easy work of their continued domination (another form of unpaid labor). And even though you don’t recognize it or want it, we did/do represent you because we represent/ed *all* women’s rights…whether the most radical of us like it or not that includes straight, white, Republican, conservative, cisgender women’s rights. We fight for your autonomy, your integrity, and your liberation even though (and maybe especially when) you don’t feel that it is needed. We’ve got your back and all we ask is that you reconsider stabbing us in ours.

If you’ve been sexually harassed at work (1 in 3 of you), we got you; If you’ve needed a free breast cancer screening (360k per year at Planned Parenthood), we got you; if you’re a survivor of sexual assault (one every 98 seconds) or intimate partner violence (1 in 3 of you), we got you; if you’ve been paid a percentage of your male peers (anywhere from 50-80%), we got you. We don’t have to be friends for us to do this work on your behalf (hence the exhaustion I referred to at the start of this letter). In fact, you benefit most from our fight because you’re closer to privilege than we’ve ever been.

You don’t have to identify as a victim to recognize your victimization. You don’t have to be public about your victimization, but what you should consider is how you re-victimize millions of girls and women when you deny theirs.

Believe this: when you claim that we are crazy, stupid, overly emotional, and overly sensitive to distance yourself from us, you bolster misogynistic stereotypes that are then applied to you. No matter how you try to distinguish yourselves, you will continue to be categorized as sexual objects and second-class citizens only useful for reproduction.

Because we understand the toll heterosexist white supremacist patriarchal oppression takes, we recognize that being “woke” is an emotional commitment many of you reject. So you don’t want to fight for your own freedoms…fine. But please, if you’re not going to join us or build us up the least you can do is refrain from tearing us down.

In solidarity,


  1. Excellent letter. It is sad that there are women out there that choose to be disrespected because they think it is OK. My parents were born in the 1930s and taught my sister and I to be independent. My dad encouraged us to obtain the highest degree we could and to never stay with a partner because we depended on that person. He was not the norm for his gemeration, even among his siblings. He was highly criticized when he sent me and later my sister to Europe to learn a language at the age of 16. I am so greatful to have been raised by perents that believed that men and women should b treated with equal respect. Yes, we may look different but like my dad used to tell my sister and I (would tell my brother to take notice cause one day he woukd be a husband and a father), both men and women are human beings and must be equally treated and respected regardless of what was betwee their legs.

    1. Great letter. Their were many men including myself and my husband at the rally here. We are all impacted by these policies. Some greater then others. their was a man next to me with his daughter on his shoulders. He was marching for her future.

    2. I had a Dad like that too! He taught me to use my voice and to be strong. He and my Mom sent me to Europe by myself at 15. I value that experience of independence, 40 plus years later. I also was encouraged to seek a college degree so I could be independent of a man, if necessary. Are we blood sisters? 😀

    3. You understand all of us so well, thank you! Too bad these women do not understand themselves. Thanks for turning the light on for them and for fighting the fight!

  2. I didn’t voted for no one in fact I didn’t voted at all this year because I didn’t want to make a hypercritically choice so thankful I didn’t. .And I will sayit was one of the most peaceful march I’ve seen yet .and great speakers with they exception of a few …I am one grateful American women.I am nit to sure about someone who shared the personal speech. For I felt some where there for a more personal political agenda and motives I can respectfully and gratefully say Thank you ladies for taking the time .love unity and concern for my well being God bless you all and united we stand divided we fall ..May the Grace of God be with all you women’s and family And I really hope our president was listening

    1. Thank you, Iraida. It is heartening to know that even though you didn’t vote this time, you do appreciate the efforts of women who marched and are working hard for ALL women. I really hope you will choose to vote in the next election, in 2018. It’s so important for all of us, including you and all those you love. 💞

  3. I attended our Rally in Rochester MN, I was respectful listened and walked with them, but I carried a sign that said “Give trump a Chance”. When I posted my picture on the groups facebook page I was kicked out of the group!

    1. Trump has HAD a chance. He’s had MANY chances. He has REPEATEDLY chosen against the well being and PROGRESS of people and the nation.

    2. “Everyone is bashing Trump. You gave Obama a chance why don’t you give Trump a chance.”—D.R.

      He was a racist landlord in the 70s.
      We gave him a chance.

      He tried to get five innocent black men executed.
      We gave him a chance.

      He was the birther-in-chief.
      We gave him a chance.

      He said Mexican immigrants were rapists and murderers.
      We gave him a chance.

      He defrauded people with Trump University.
      We gave him a chance.

      He lied about his personal philanthropy. And carried on lying throughout the campaign, even about easily disprovable things.
      We gave him a chance.

      He refused to release his tax returns.
      We gave him a chance.

      He embraced Breitbart and White Supremacy.
      We gave him a chance.

      The FBI told us about an irrelevant investigation into emails on one computer, but were silent on an investigation into his ties with Russia.
      We gave him a chance.

      He called on hackers to break into HRC’s computers.
      We gave him a chance.

      He called on second amendment supporters to do something about HRC.
      We gave him a chance.

      He was a Schrödinger’s Douchebag and said he was only joking about calling for HRC’s assassination and for people to hack HRC.
      We gave him a chance.

      He was caught saying awful things about women.
      We gave him a chance.

      He doubled down, and instead of saying it was wrong, normalized it as “locker room talk.”
      We gave him a chance.

      He attacked a gold star family, a young woman, and all sorts of others he considered is enemies.
      We gave him a chance.

      When things were looking bleak in the popular vote, he refused to say he would accept the results of the election.
      We gave him a chance.

      And it went on and on, and still goes on today, with his appointments, with his nepotism, with his White Supremacy dog whistling, with his attacks on heroes of the Civil Rights movement, with his repeating practically word-for-word Kremlin positions on statecraft, with speeches that unnerve America’s allies and comfort America’s enemies.

      So tell me: How many chances does he get, exactly? And tell me: What will he have to do such that you will say, “No more chances?”

      1. Wow! This is an amazing list! If this doesn’t make it clear nothing will. Beautifully written. Thank you!

      2. Debbie Dollie a Tea Party Liberal from Atlanta is calling for the resignation for Ga senator Jessie Stone because his wife attended the rally in Georgia. I sure wished this letter and your sentiments could get through to her and her hatred. She has sure stirred an uproar in Georgia. I agree women stand for women!!!!!

      3. Thank you katieisplenty!
        The man has done nothing except put his middle finger in the face of the _majority_ of Americans that did not support him, he has not done anything to reach out to the other side.
        People want to forget, this is the man who lied for six years demeaning President Obama claiming he wasn’t born in America. Lying to us about sending people to Hawaii and “finding lots of interesting things”this is the man that said “I want to fuck her, she’s married blah blah blah blah… I can grab her pussy I can do anything” (sorry for the blunt words, but we’re not supposed to be PC anymore, correct?)

      4. My daughter works in law enforcement in the lab. Sexual assault against women is actually rising and the person with the highest powered position in our country thinks it’s ok to either grab women (assault) or lie about it……smdh…..

      5. Katieisplenty…you are amazing! I hope you don’t mind me strong on other social media sites, of course I’ll give credit to you but this sheds the light on just how horrible he is. Thank you!

      6. It’s been three days since the above reply was posted and the damage he’s initiated to countless organizations and movements in that brief amount of time is mindblowing. The lies continue to roll off of his tongue, the narcissism continues to shape his every action and the chaos is snowballing. The entire world is frowning. Should he be allotted enough chances to put us on a trajectory that we truly can’t recover from…or have you finally seen enough?

    3. You might think trump need a chance. But what you don’t understand is republicans have had too many chances. They still do everything in their power to take women down. It’s been this way for years. A president can’t divide this country one min then expect to unity.. Until all of us are considered equal he and his republicans in congress have had more than enough.

    4. There are closed Facebook group pages of all types, from clubs to activist groups. I belong to several private groups for HRC supporters and other liberal groups. I’m sure there are as many conservative groups as well. These groups are a place for members to share their views in safety without feedback from those that think differently. It is not that your views aren’t valid, because they are… It just isn’t appropriate for you to be on that page.

  4. First, I voted for Trump because the other choice was worse and none of the other candidates that ran were the choice. Second, because I disagree with you doesn’t mean I tear other women down. You don’t speak for me. I have a right to voice my opinion as do you. It’s the same old thing. If I don’t agree with your point of view, I must be wrong, racist, hateful or whatever. I can guarantee you, that is far from the truth. I have an education. I have a job. I have never asked for a handout. You have assumed that once u-bummer care is gone you will not have the medical care you feel you are entitled to. I have been without health insurance in my life. I have been sexually abused. I’ve never whined for people to give me things for free. I believe in closed borders. It is the law, always has been and the only way to keep people safe. I’ve never had an abortion. Never needed one because I made it a point not to get pregnant. I am pro-choice. That means I believe in the women’s right to choose an abortion if she chooses. I don’t believe in it as a form of birth control. People need to be more responsible, men and women before they just have sex and whoops, I’m pregnant when they don’t have an ability to provide for that child. People need to step up and change themselves. Change starts from within and change starts at home. And change starts within one’s local community. I still don’t believe you solved anything putting on pink hats and marching in DC

      1. If you voted for Trump, you voted against women, against gay people, against POC, against the disabled, against veterans, against the poor, against families, against workers, against animals, against the environment, against all social progress made in the last 100 years, against science and against decency. PERIOD end of story. I also hate Hillary, but I sure as hell did not vote for Trump. I want no part of anyone who did. You make me ashamed to be American.

      2. What did you want her to change? It would seem that the only thing you are willing to recognize is agreement with you, and that’s not freedom of choice, its dictatorship.

    1. Just in case you missed it …you voted for, no endorsed, a sexual predator. Someone who degrades women. I am not ok with that. If you think he is any less corrupt than Ms Clinton then there is no real point in talking to you. I will wait until you get a belly full of him and then we can talk.
      I am also educated, have a job, and dont suffer from a lot of the abuses that many women have. One thing you don’t mention is having children. I have daughters. They have daughters. Aboriginal. I fight for them. Because if I dont it means I have failed them.

      I dont whine, I dont cry,I dont look for handouts….but if anyone hurts my babies, they will sure as hell need some kind of help. Health coverage might be to their advantage.

    2. Please keep close track of what we will be losing if t gets his way. The march was very empowering for many people who are willing to protect the rights we have fought for. And while you have taken care of yourself we are a community, a local and a global community. Someday you may need help. I hope it is there for you and I have no doubt you will help others when they need it.

    3. Given your stated opposition to the author’s position, I can’t help but wonder why you were so quick to prove her point with your comment?

    4. Right on. Totally agree. I can, and will speak for myself. I have had to be brave, as have almost all women. I love my mother, and all of the female members of my family. The best way to effect change is to be coherent and factual, and to use the tools that are available. Thank you for your voice of sanity!

    5. Cindy …..don’t you see. Knowing what you do about Trump’s behavior and still supporting him says: “I condone this behavior. It is okay with me.” That is the way it goes. You can’t have it both ways. Your support speaks for you and the words you utter to refute that are not credible.

    6. WOW You are a non compassionate person. You probably need to be on medication. This administration by their actions so far does not care about the poor , the elderly , children ,LGBTQ , or really anyone besides the 1 % wealthy . I too have worked all my life . I am lucky to have a retirement income . I earned everything I have. But just because this is my situation does not give me a right to judge others or blame them for their situation. I don’t think taking what they have away is going to help their situation. If you create a situation where the majority or very large minority of the people are desperate you just may have created chaos in society. I believe you too will come to regret your vote.

    7. Nobody asked you to agree. I believe this letter was to the women who called protesters stupid, who said they should get jobs (I have one, it was a Saturday) and who should just accept the hand that was dealt them. It’s not about who you voted for, it’s about not bashing those who participated in this event for an array of reasons

    8. I can understand why you didn’t vote for Hillary but saying “these women don’t represent me” as so many conservative women have been saying leaves me with one question…Which women DO represent you?

    9. Thanks Cindy for your thoughtful reply. Even as a progressive I see I agree with you on a number of issues. I think what we need, collectively, is more open sharing as you have done. Although for me Trump is the most frightening politician I’ve seen since Joe McCarthy, your reasoning, for you, makes sense to me. The objections we have to Donald Trump, if I dare speak for the many people I know who marched, are so overwhelmingly offensive to us that I think we feel he is, simply, dangerous. In every way possible. You are right: it isn’t my place or anyone else’s to tell you how to think or feel. I for one gain enough by learning more about other people’s POV, especially when different from my own. Thanks for sharing.

    10. If you believe that women have the right to choose, why did you vote for someone who is going to remove that choice?

    11. Cindy… You apparently missed the whole point of this beautiful letter written by Jessica N Pabon. I don’t believe this is the avenue for political opinions, but your first statement opened that door. There was only one candidate running that had 40 years as governing experience, only one candidate with a successful and proven record working for women, children, and families through her works with the Children’s Defense Fund where 8 million children have healthcare that would not. In the words of Hillary Rodham Clinton…. WOMEN’S RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHT’S.

    12. Thank you for sharing your opinion. I’m sorry for what happened to you. You are very brave for standing up for yourself and others.
      There are issues we can agree on.

  5. In the black community, whenever we see a black person on TV who shames other blacks while supporting policies that hurt us, we call them ‘Uncle Toms’. Its sad to say that women might need to find a term for those who backstab others.

  6. Thank you, Jessica. I was feeling so substantial yesterday surrounded by so many like-minded people. After tuning in to the day’s reality on Trumpdom, I’m feeling less so. Your article brought me a good deal of hope. You eloquently marked the intersection between Trumpdom and others: the historical legacy of women’s rights and the naysayer’s benefits of others labors. I was flummoxed before I read your article. I thought that they were so victimized they couldn’t understand, too disengaged to care or so rich & Republican to notice. Vive la resistance!

  7. I think the March was great Women’s Rights are important. I had friends that were coming to NY but were turned away
    In Canada border, passports and pictures taken after they were known as protesters.
    Which I thought if we can’t have a voice and if this how Trump wants it with his thin skin! Then Ladies we have a lot of work to do so I say this
    Right this Ship and Vote 2018 💯

    1. I can see how you think this, but we had a platform. And pro-choice is part of that platform. (Let’s not get into the semantics of pro-choice and pro-life; The letter should be referred to as anti-choice). We can’t water down the basic premise of bodily integrity for the sake of appearing all inclusive.

      1. I find it fascinating that it is always middle aged white male politicians that make the birth life choices for women. If their are to be no abortions then men should not be allowed to walk away from the pregnancy either.Republicans don’t support programs for medical care for women and children but insist that the children be born . Before we ban abortion we need to have a serious discussion about what policies are needed after the children are born.

    2. Well there is a strong point of view that being a feminist means you’re not pro-life/anti-choice. While I am pro choice, I do respect other women’s decisions to not be so. However, it is different when you don’t support abortions and you vote for politicians that support oppressing other women’s right to do so. If you don’t support having an abortion, that is fine but forcing a woman to have a child, whether she raise it on her own or put the child into our broken adoption system, is against the very idea of feminism. Feminism is not only about having equal rights to men, it’s also about having the freedom to choose whatever lifestyle you wish to pursuit(be it a independent woman or a mother or anything else). It’s the idea that the definition of being a woman is whatever you wish it to be. And when you infringe on these rights, you can see why there would be a lot of backlash from the other side. Now I understand there are other feminists out there that scoff at any woman that wouldn’t support abortion, but I want you to understand why there are women that feel that way. Plus, there is a widely misconstrued idea that if you give women unfettered access to abortions, that they will use that as birth control and will have a bunch of abortions, and that simply is not true.

      Also, I want to make a note about you being hurt about this march not having the backs of female pro-life groups. Remember that similar feminists did not have the backs of women of color and LGBT women for decades(including feminists that we revere in our history books). You can’t throw stones at glass houses for this inclusivity debate.

  8. I understand. I personally believe that it is not right to put the woman’s belief before the woman herself. So, while I 100% support the women’s march and many of its platforms, I think it is a shame that they would choose to exclude women who are anti-choice. In other words, we support survivors of sexual assault (but not the part of them that is pro-life/anti-choice! ….a thought example). I’d just ask people to consider holding both the woman AND her abortion beliefs simultaneously, and still choosing to support her. Personal opinion, and I strongly agree with your call for women to support each other.

    1. What’s the plan of the anti-choice aside from removing another right to women?
      Against abortion? Don’t have one, no-one will care, but do not come preaching what the others should do with their bodies..
      Everyone was welcome in the march as far as I’ve seen as long as their goal was to give more and equal rights, more choices, more options not less.. if you want less, take less for yourself, do not impose less on others..

      1. Anti-choice may have been a poor choice of words. My personal belief is that abortion is not right for me, it is my faith and it is my choice. I supported the March but felt left out because my stand was not considered “pro-choice”. On the contrary, I believe in all peoples right to choose. I prefer we do not return to the days previous to Rowe vs. Wade. I do believe we can drop the need for abortions by making access to medical care and specifically to birth control easier and less costly.
        To call me or other women who do not support abortion, who want to find a better way, who support all the other issues of the March is sad, shortsighted and as limiting as many of the politicians you criticize.
        By the way, I voted f Hillary.

  9. To the women who defend Trump– I find it offensive that you may think you are the only women in the world to have up from your bootstraps–ALL of us have had struggles in life –that is what makes us such awesome beings! when Trump and his cronies come around to bashing you and all your freedoms, we will still have your back, when he takes your sons away and sends them to wars to defend his ego, we will be there for you, when he takes away your ability to buy a house because his rich friends need to be richer, we will be there for you, when your sons think grabbing women by the p***y and beating them is okay, because this is the “role model” they have from a president –who spends more time worried about how many people attended his inauguration than the poor people whose homes were swept away by the tornadoes yesterday, we will be there with you, when your gay son or daughter gets beaten to a pulp, because it is okay to do this since the president has said it is okay to “beat the crap” out of people, we will stand with you, when working 2 jobs to make ends meet while the president and his friends enjoy more wealth than every before, we will be marching for you, when your daughter has to go to a quack to get an abortion, and dies from hemorrhaging we will pray with you. You see in the end of it all we are all women and men who believe that we are God’s perfect creation and we deserve a leader who respects us, understands us and believes in us. We believe in you even if you don’t think you deserve better than this president offers. You deserve health care, you deserve good schools, and a good home and the ability to earn a good salary, and raise your children in a country that respects all people regardless of color, gender, orientation, culture, language economic status. We are the land of the free and the home of the brave. To all of you Trump supporters, I will leave you with Maya Angelou’s words: People tell you WHO they are the first time you meet them, choose to believe them. In your case you need to listen to what this man has said about himself and you and so please choose to believe him–he has ZERO good intentions for you , your family or your situation.

  10. If you can’t appraise him based upon his own behavior, policies, fabrications, and insecurities, then take a look at the deceitful incompetent people with whom he surrounds himself ( they make him feel smart and important ). This country, indeed the world, will suffer HIS carnage for the next half century ( read: Supreme Court ) or more!

  11. Cheeto Satan has just done something that will maim and kill women worldwide:

    Here’s a terrific article I read today, about what voting Republican says about you. (I vote for leftist 3rd parties, not Dems, BTW, so you need not tell me how terrible HRC was):

    You know the cheering crowds you see in Nazi propaganda newsreels? I think of that when I see Trump supporters. I am not going to be a “Good German.” I will fight and resist this Fascist with all I’ve got.

  12. Well writen and an important contribution to the discussion, Jessica. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.

    To the anti-choice commenters, I propose the following: get to know some pro-choice women. We are not very different from you. Talk to women who have had abortions and discover something about their lives. If you don’t think you know anyone who has had an abortion, think again. If you can’t or won’t meet someone face to face, read their stories. They are everywhere….google them. If after your rigorous study you remain anti-choice, it is your right and I will support your right to believe that the government should control women’s bodies. I’ll also reserve the right to disagree with you and to march, fight, and protest on behalf of you and ALL women as I wish.

    To my fellow American women who happen to be Trump supporters, I suggest you read Jessica’s open letter again. My support for you is exactly the same as that I’ve just offered to anti-choice women. In return, please accept that I also reserve the right to disagree with our president, and with you. I reserve the right to think that in voting for a racist, misogynistic, lying giant toddler you are severely misguided, because you have not only voted against your own interests but those of your daughters, grandaughters, nieces, aunts, grandmothers, friends, and me. I reserve the right to say all of this because the guy you voted for hasn’t yet had enough time to strip that right from me (or from you – you can still, for the time being, tell me I’m wrong), although he has made a most concerted start. I’d move quickly if I were you – your vote for a fascist has left us with little time.

    Finally, as women we are so lucky (in spite of the second class status we suffer) to have within our grasp the intelligence, fierceness, and indomitable spirit that has allowed us to shine throughout the milennia in spite of people like Donald Trump. I ask you to consider your place in the world at this crucial point in time, before it’s too late.

  13. Thank you for your thoughts and love for your fellow sisters, even if some may not recognize or appreciate it. I marched on Sunday with my friends, neighbors and strangers, including men. It was a beautiful experience, fun and joyous. Anyone, especially a women, who would disparage the marches that took place all across the world, is sorely out of touch with reality.

  14. I read a good deal of these comments and would like to propose that as we march forward, we try to be more inclusive of those who have differing opinions, including anti-abortion. We DO all share common women’s issues yet can’t seem to find a way to join together. The authors points are good ones. Being inclusive is so important but to be included one must want to be. There were women at the march who were conservative. I saw them…..Muslims, Orthodox Jews, faithful and religious Christians asking for God’s guidance. The key here is that they did not feel it was important to preach their beliefs nor impose them on others. There are many women whose posters and comments I found offenses and not open, kind and loving. They are welcome to their own opinions. I do not have to give any of my energy or attention to them. I welcome my more conservative sisters to march forward with me. To stand next to me and support what is important to you. If any woman is open and willing to accept what is different and embrace what we share in common, please join us. But there is not room for hateful, hurtful and belittling behavior. Let’s start the conversation and extend our hands.

  15. What do you get out of tearing down other women?

    I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and choose to believe you didn’t intend for your letter to read “You’re too dumb to recognize what’s good for you but don’t worry, I’ll save you anyway” but for me, at least, that’s exactly what it says. That I am unable to reasonably determine a path that best fits ME. My life. My values. My goals. The world at large as I see it best succeeding. This is, at its very core, what you seem to want to rail against. It IS tearing me down, questioning my authenticity as a woman or even a valuable citizen of the country.

    I am forever grateful to our foremothers for blazing the trail that allows each of us, as individuals, to set our own course through life. Yes, it’s imperfect, there are great distances yet to cover, for some far more than others, but it is exhausting, woman to woman, to constantly be lectured on all the ways I’m failing my gender. Don’t assume that every path leads to your conclusion. Don’t reject those that do not. Build other women up by respecting their right to chose for themselves even if their choice is not the one you would make. We don’t have to agree to be tolerant of one another’s views. We will make the time we have on this big blue marble a whole lot better for all if we learn to tolerate our differences and embrace our similarities. I’d be willing to bet there are far more reasons we agree than disagree if only you’d take the time to listen instead of lecture.

    1. Well, not for nothing you’re doing a fair amount of what you consider to be lecturing in this comment. What I’m looking for is a collective sense of “we”…and demeaning the marches is the exact issue I take up here in reference to that. I’ve seen too many say the marches were unnecessary because they, personally, have never experienced oppression and have all the rights they need. Turning a blind eye to the rights being stripped away from us at this very moment will get us nowhere.

      1. I suspect this woman is a male troll. “Her” comment is unwarranted and it’s difficult to imagine “her” ever supporting other women by respectfully discussing “her” viewpoint. Your letter was hardly a lecture. The only people who would read it that way have enormous issues with self-esteem.

      2. Where was Michelle Obama, for 8 years?
        Where was Barack Obama- in supporting your agenda for your march?
        Why weren’t the issues resolved by the last liberal administration?
        Why are you not addressing Hillary’s Saudi connected Clinton Foundation money,?
        I think you are missing a much bigger agenda.

        As far as adults acting out on innocent persons because you perceive there is an established template laid down by the POTUS- A crime is a crime- and local law enforcement needs to do their jobs.

        I can’t support a movement that engages the use of such a wide brush to demonize anything and anyone outside of their group.
        I am not someone who likes to get in a crowd and chant whatever the on site cheerleader captain proclaims should be voiced.

        I cannot stomach the likes of Debbie Wasserman Schultz- or the women who celebrate the likes of her.
        A few YouTube visits of some of her interviews either cause shrieks of laughter or utter dismay that She was so empowered.
        Too few women in powerful positions retain the sense of sisterhood you advance.

        Unfortunately, many women put themselves into situations and environments that lend themselves to victimization.
        There are bad humans amongst us.
        Of all races, and both semester.

        There Are good old boys networks- and too few women vaguely interested in doing the work of infiltrating them.

        For many women, there will be a period in their life when procreation and homesteading is their priority.
        They choose to be more domestic than their partner, out of the goal to sustain a good home and family.
        We should not shame these women.

        But, there is the potential for a cost on the career development when you take several years and leave the job market. These are not all shining examples of rights erosion, or white male domination. They are wonderful moments in a woman’s life when she can fully choose to be a mom or spouse/ partner..
        And more women Could do that if we support families staying together.
        Support reducing tax burdens.
        Taxation and fees that artificially raise the cost of living and dictating two person income households.
        Support the development of a better and more rewarding job base for all.
        Real jobs that produce goods, not just sell services.
        And support making better choices overall.

  16. I too marched and saw the same “not my march” post yesterday. I understand the desire to give a new leader the opportunity to prove himself, but 2 days in and Trump is already showing his colors; his appointees are overwhelmingly white and male, and their policies reflect that. Respect goes both ways, and Trump has done nothing to deserve mine. He is a pompous bully at best, a sexual predator at worst. And when other women defend his arrogant misogyny and question those who refuse to stomach it, it lends further fuel to the fire.

    1. I’m asking that women stop doing the work of patriarchy. When we do it, it gives men license to do it… and then misogyny continues to be acceptable, normal, expected. The “locker room” talk phenom is a good example.

  17. Thank you for your words. I marched, too, and found it inspiring. All day I’ve been hearing from students who were there, too. We’re in this together!

  18. Great article! A professional woman in my exercise class had this comment on the Women’s March: “we are not oppressed. I have a good job and work hard.” There are those that think that one only has to work hard to get ahead. Tell that to the low wage worker who is employed at two jobs to support her family, still does not have healthcare, and and will never get ahead under this administration.

  19. There are so many causes people marched for Saturday around the world (including me), so many areas of progress being endangered as we quarrel with each other. Check out REINS law making its way stealthily behind the scenes. If you care about equal pay, honoring diversity, pro-choice, the environment, education, healthcare, you have a stake in this conversation. Why not address the cost of medications with the pharmaceutical and insurance companies? My husband’s uncovered medications for pancreatic cancer were $1500/mo by the end. I have volunteer tutored in schools for decades and DeVos, DT’s pick for Education has no idea what she’s talking about – terrifying. The most interesting thing about the march is that it did not center on one cause (like the Vietnam War) but many. The consequences of the actions being taken will affect not just us, but generations of children. Don’t fight for what I care about. Fight for what you care about. Don’t be distracted by personalities and misdirection. And, I agree, don’t tear other women down because, no matter what you believe, that hurts all of us.

  20. Jessica…great read. The women who voted for the Dump, the orange con man are asleep and under mind control unfortunately and were unable to see what is really going on. The good news is that the Power Over that has controlled our world for centuries is Over and the Empowerment of the Feminine/Masculine Balance is now powering up. Thus the amazing turnout Jan 21, 2017 in a peaceful powerful message of Loving Healthy Boundaries. Hell No we are not going backwards and you elite will never ever own women again. We will never give up our Free Will and Choice and will continue to push forward our agenda of assuring the oppressors of women the world over are stopped.

    I look forward to hearing the very loud clatter of chains falling that still enslave our sisters young and old around the world…So every positive action you take cracks the dark doors open for our sisters…So we never give up and we never give in and we have just begun, again to make our Empowerment felt…I am so grateful to my Sisters over the centuries and especially those in the last hundred years that did not care that they were ridiculed by their gender, jailed, put in asylums, killed, raped and abused to assure we became seen and felt as Human Beings with Choice. We are One and together their is nothing we cannot accomplish…doesn’t matter our numbers as our numbers will grow…Surrounding you all with love and strength and success and prayers!

  21. I marched. I have been asked why, because the agenda was all over the place. The best answer I’ve found is that the march was against injustice in any form. Men, women and children were all around me. This became a citizens march for treating others with respect, for wanting respect from others, for truth, justice and the American way. I started out wanting to ask for an apology from the Predator-in-Chief, as a victim of sexual violence, but it became much more than Trump for me. I am not in a bubble. I know Trump supporters who desperately need good jobs, and are losing their homes, and who have children who are addicted. These people are not deplorables, but they made a choice that was not in their best interest, in my view. But this is no longer about Hillary or Bernie, as much as some of us wanted one of them, it’s about our country and our need for a leader who brings us together and will meet the other side half way. We don’t have such a leader, and I believe he is in the early stages of dementia. Now that we’re in this mess, I hope we can all cross out of our rage and start to think of each other as citizens who want a government that respects them and responds to them, who wants a leader who knows what injustice is and advocates for treating others, rich, poor, gay straight, black white and other, with respect. Right to life is always a lighting rod that separates people. Abortion is a tragedy, so I pay for birth control and sex education through my contributions. You can believe abortion is wrong and also know that forcing someone to be a mother is wrong. We all believe in respect for one another, don’t we? This is a great article. It needs to be more widely circulated.

  22. This sentence really got my attention: “Because we understand the toll heterosexist white supremacist patriarchal oppression takes, we recognize that being “woke” is an emotional commitment many of you reject.” Why this one? Because the writer just alienated every woman who never had the opportunity to go to college and appreciate what that sentence means for her. The choice of words creates an even larger divide between us.

  23. Can anyone peacefully and respectfully tell me why one ladie’s opinions and feelings are more valid than another’s?
    Why one woman’s convictions and moral beliefs are correct vs. another?
    If we are to show solidarity and support for one another- does that mean we must think the same on all issues? Vote the same in all elections? Agree on all issues all the time?
    Why can’t a woman who voted for Trump be that same woman that went to the march, had an abortion at a young age, been sexually assaulted at a young age, has gay family members, is Hispanic and a single mother, teaches her daughter how to be a strong woman, and strives daily to show love and peace to all?
    Why can’t a woman who voted for Hillary be a conservative woman who is pro life, was raised traditionally and has “old fashioned” values, has never had a lot of contact with other races and is raising a family with a husband, and together they teach their daughter to be a strong woman and strive daily to show love and peace to all?
    Will anyone please tell me why we are all fighting tooth and nail to yank each other back and forth across a line of common thinking instead of cutting that line and reaching out our hands to accept our differences, respect each other’s opinions and maybe just maybe, learn from one another…

    1. If all opinions are valid, why did we bother to stop the Nazis? We are now facing a white supremacist authoritarian, bringing Fascism to this country. If you voted for him, you voted against ALL women (including Fascist women, even if they refuse to realize it). Not to mention what this regime will do to the planet and every being in it, aside from the elites (and even they are not immune to poisoned air and a destroyed planet). We can disagree on movies or music, but not about whether we will support fascism. I’m Jewish. Seeing women support Trump is NO different to me than Jews supporting Hitler.

  24. DG Kelly, good questions. I believe Stronger Together addressed those, or many of your points. I would add that there is sometimes the danger of judging the “purity” of others’ convictions. For example, you don’t agree with me on all things, so you don’t belong in my group. I think this happens with all sides. I didn’t happen to agree with a group of women who yelled back “white lives matter” when they heard the chant “black lives matter” during the March. We were there together to tell Trump that this was what democracy looks like. Now, that is my interpretation. I’m sure that there were 5,000 other interpretations. Point being, I’m a moderate ( a dead or dying breed) so, seeing both sides, I say let’s keep our arms open for all and lessen the squabbling that just tears our solidarity apart. And prove the guys wrong who say that a group of women will end up in cat fights and get nothing done, har, har. So, my pledge is to not go all judgmental on folks who differ from what I think and believe. Oh god, that is a hard one! And keep the communication going. :). Peace, Sisters

  25. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Thank you, Jessica, for writing this letter! I marched Saturday … it was beyond amazing. Never crossed my mind that women would berate women demanding their rights! As a retired, Latina, gay physician, I understand the importance of marching!

  26. Thank you for your post. I do think it will take concerted effort to shine the light on the real perpetrators against the American people: Tea Party activist members of Congress. They are destroying our country by stymying progressive legislation and hamstringing any efforts to bring real change. And Trump is a pawn in their game. He’s so bad he’s like a car wreck, so we can’t help but stare. Meanwhile, our purses are getting stolen and our futures destroyed while we look the other way. We have to elevate the discourse amongst women if we have any hope of pulling down the patriarchy/aristocracy. Regardless, your post was great and captured my sentiments of how going to the March left me, energized and aware of the inclusionary organization that must happen now. And also the healing. We have some beat and battered sisters among us, and they deserve a healing as well as empowering embrace. Thank you again.

  27. Thoughtful, eloquent, and very well-written…thank you! I’m definitely re-blogging this; it says everything that I’ve wanted to say to friends and family members.

  28. Beautifully written.
    I am one of those women NEAR privilege and yet I am empathic to the women who struggle with true inequality because it could be ANY one of us. We are all in this together.

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